The reason I'm in two minds about this post is because it deals with the difficult topic of violence against women. And that's not what my blog is about. I know I can't always write about love and romance, it'd get boring pretty quickly, and life is not all fluffy kittens, rainbows and roses, as much as we might want it to be. But at the same time I'm not sure if it's my place to discuss this kind of thing.
Allow me to give you some background information as to why this topic bothers me so much. A long time ago I was stupid enough to be involved with someone who wasn't good for me. I don't want to go into the details, that's not what this is about, but that experience has helped shape my view on something so important.
Recently, I was shocked and more than a little upset by something I witnessed on television. I watch Big Brother here in the UK. (Yes, I admit it.) And normally it's daft and fun to watch. People seeking their fifteen minutes of fame, and the lengths they're willing to go in order to achieve it. Normally it's just a little bit of entertaining fluff. This year, not so much.
I am referring to a very specific incident that occurred. During a play fight gone bad, one of the male housemates wrapped his hand around the throat of a female housemate. He then proceeded to pin her to the bed, using threatening language, telling her to, "respect her elders", or he'd finish her, "respect your elders or I'll nut you."
It's very easy to find out who these two housemates are, it's even possible to view the incident, I think. I know I saw it that night on the edited and aired version of the show. I've left names out because for what I'm talking about it's not important. Now, I've sat on this for a while. I've spent a lot of time thinking about it. And it still bothers me now. What I witnessed that night was beyond upsetting. And what I've seen since has upset me further.
I don't condone violence towards women. Ever. Neither do I condone it towards men. It's something I find despicable. Violence is never the answer. But what I've found to be worse is the attitude of some of the public towards the situation. Claiming that if the female housemate hadn't been flirting with him, then it wouldn't have escalated to the point of violence. To me what happened wasn't a "threat" of violence as it has sometimes been described, he laid hands on her, to me, that is violence.
I know not everyone will agree with me. But I don't understand the mentality that has developed in today's society. Something like this happens and we spend our time blaming the woman, or looking for ways to make it her fault. Its happened during rape cases where they try to make the victim look guilty. The clothes she wore, how much she drank, or the fact that she flirted. None of those things should ever come into it. It's never an excuse. We shouldn't have the mentality that "insert action here, e.g. short skirt, flirting, etc" caused the man to insert repercussion here "attack, rape, etc".
Maybe I'm terribly naive. I don't know. All I'm saying and thinking in my head is where have we gone so wrong that we immediately blame the woman? When did it become acceptable to condone violence? I don't have the answers. All I can hope is that maybe people start to look at the way they react to these types of situations. That we realise it is never the victims fault, violence in all its forms is never, ever the answer.
I came across this video a little while ago and it reduced me to tears. I wanted to share it with you all, his words are touching and come from the heart. You couldn't ask for more than that.
Be safe.
Love,
Millie
