At the Billionaire's Paradise Release

Finally, the book you've all been waiting for has arrived. At the Billionaire's Paradise is now available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble, I'm working to get it up everywhere else but that will take time.

Not only that, but I've also released a box set version of the first three books in the series. So if you haven't yet caught up with the series you can now grab the first three books in a very handy box set and for a discounted price of just .99c because of Christmas!

David's loyalties are divided after his father's heinous act of betrayal, and he struggles to come to terms with his own feelings. He grows more distant from Carrie, forcing her to question whether he truly wants her in his life. 

Stuart is there for her, he gives her a shoulder to lean on but he is looking for more than just friendship. Carrie must face temptation in the face of her disappointment with David. 
The return of Richard means more complications for Carrie and David, with danger mounting every moment he is on the loose. 
Will Carrie and David find a way to hold onto their love?

Billionaire Brothers Box Set 1-3

Fall in love with these smoking hot alpha billionaires and the curvy women who love them.

At the Billionaire's Pleasure

At the Billionaire's Promise

Loving the Billionaire

At the Billionaire's Paradise-Chapter One

I know many of you have been waiting for this book and I really can't wait to release it. This book continues the love story of David and Carrie and it's chock full of drama, suspense and of course love. So here you'll find the first chapter which is guaranteed to leave you with plenty of questions, I hope you enjoy it.

The waiting room was quiet and it had been all day. Staring down at the pages of the wedding magazine I found my mind wandering to a happier place. After everything that had happened I was a little surprised that David had insisted on the wedding planning going ahead.

David claimed he hated his father that after everything that he had done he could never be forgiven but I knew better. You couldn’t possibly hate someone you visited every single day, it just didn’t make any sense. Perhaps a part of David felt guilty for his father’s heart attack, Gertrude had certainly tried hard enough to lay the blame squarely at David’s door and mine.

I wanted to marry him, I really did but a part of me couldn’t shake the feeling that David was rushing ahead with everything. Why did we need to rush? There was no one to stop us from getting married, no one stood in our way, we had literally all the time in the world. Yet, something felt a little off to me, something I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

I closed my eyes slowly, waiting for David to return. Why did everything have to be so hard? David was perfect for me, I knew this so why was it so hard to believe that we belonged together? Why did I struggle with these thoughts?

A door down the hall opened and David appeared, he looked tired, I could see the strain on his face. I stood and went to him my arms automatically wrapping around his waist my face pressed against his chest.

“How is he doing?”

I drank in his scent, my face buried in against his strong body. In that position, in that place I never wanted to move. There was and always had been something special about being in David’s arms. There was something in the way he made me feel, so safe, so utterly loved and I never wanted to lose that.

“Fine.”

His voice was curt, harsh even and I flinched inwardly. Something had obviously happened. David pushed out of my arms, moving past me down the hall. I watched him go, his shoulders hunched, his body drawn in on itself. 

I followed him, my hand automatically reaching out to him, to comfort him. He gave me so much, the least I could do was give him what he needed, a shoulder to cry on if he wanted it. And if he didn’t? Then I would simply do whatever I could but I would be there for him.

“David, talk to me, what did they say?”

“He’s doing much better, everyone is very hopeful.”

David’s voice was filled with barely controlled anger and I couldn’t hide the surprise from my face. Although I loved him, I wasn’t sure I knew who he was anymore, who he had become. He was always so angry and a part of me understood why. But this anger had become almost like a part of him, he behaved as though he didn’t know how to experience any other emotions. How could I help him through that? How could I help him with something I didn’t fully understand?

“David, look at me, tell me what’s wrong?”

I grabbed his arm and turned his body towards mine but that was as far as I managed to get. David shrugged out of my grip faster than I could anticipate and strode away down the hall. I tried to follow him, my low heels clicking across the tile floor but he was faster than I was. I made it outside into the parking lot in time to watch him speed away.

We hadn’t fought, in fact nothing had been said to him as far as I was aware to cause such a dramatic and hurtful reaction. I wanted to be there for him but how could I be when he kept pushing me away? How could I marry him when I wasn’t sure what was going on inside his head?

I tugged the cell phone from my bag and quickly typed out a message, my finger hesitating over the send button. What choice did I have? I was stuck here unless David decided to come back for me. I pressed the button and watched the screen as the little icon appeared telling me the message was sent. Now all I could do was wait for the other complication in my life to make an appearance.

Stuart pulled up alongside the curb, a small smile curling his lips. It had started to rain as I waited for him and the mist had quickly turned me into some sort of drowned rat creature. I slid into the passenger seat beside him and closed the door, the heat sliding around me drawing the chill from my bones.

“So why am I picking you up and not David?”

Stuart shot me a sideways look as he steered the car away from the curb and back into the flow of traffic.

“He had something he needed to do.”

I dipped my head in an attempt to avoid his penetrating gaze. Stuart had a nasty habit of knowing when I was lying and I really didn’t want to talk about my ‘feelings’ or my suddenly unstable relationship with the man I loved.

“It doesn’t seem like him to just ditch you out here on your own. He’s normally so protective of you.”

“Yeah well I don’t always need protecting. There is not always something waiting to pounce on me.”

“Really? With your track record you could have fooled me.”

Stuart grinned over at me but I didn’t smile back. I didn’t see a reason to smile and not everything in life could be solved with a joke.

“I really irritate you don’t I?”

He asked, his voice suddenly serious.

“Sometimes, yeah.”

“Why? What is it about me that gets under your skin?”

His voice sunk lower, there was something in the way he said skin that made me want to close my eyes. I could remember the hard press of his body against mine as he protected me when Richard’s bomb had gone off. The memory of that moment haunted me.

I loved David, so what the hell was I doing thinking about the press of another man’s body against mine. Why did I always find myself so mesmerised by the sound of his voice. The way he could practically purr certain words, making them feel like silk trailing across my body.

Stuart was a complication, a complication I didn’t want to be around and yet I constantly seemed to find myself in his company or needing his help.

“Don’t do that.”

I whispered closing my eyes and pressing my hand over them. I could see David’s face in my mind, the expression he wore, such rage. My heart twisted and one small tear escaped from beneath my lashes to trail down my cheek.

“Do what? Are you crying?”

Stuart’s voice was suddenly filled with surprise and I could tell from the way the car jerked suddenly that his surprise had almost caused us to crash.

“Stuart, I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to talk about anything. I just want to sit here and be left alone with my own thoughts.”

He didn’t answer me and several minutes passed in complete silence. The car rolled to a stop and I pushed my hand away from my face. I knew the journey had been too short to have gotten us back to the apartment. 

“Stuart, what are we doing out here?”

I glanced around at our surroundings, I could see nothing but trees and rolling hills. How he had managed to get us out of the city so quickly was beyond me.

He unclipped his seatbelt and turned to face me, the look in his eyes serious. Panic fluttered in my gut and instinctively my hand went to my own belt, releasing it quickly as I sucked in a deep breath.

“Look, Carrie, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you, it’s just I saw you were a little down and I thought you could do with a laugh. That was all.”

He must have seen the panic on my face because the next words out of his mouth were filled with hurt and confusion.

“Carrie, I would never hurt you. You don’t need to look at me like I’m some sort of psychopath.”

“Then why are we out here?”

I took the opportunity to finally look around at my surroundings and gasped at the beauty that lay all around. The car was parked beside a cliff ledge, the sight both awe inspiring and terrifying.

“This is where I go when I need to think, escape everything else in my life. I thought maybe you needed an escape. Maybe I was wrong.”

He turned facing forward, placing both hands on the steering wheel I watched him blow out a long breath. He was kind hearted and I had reacted badly. Guilt twisted in my gut as I watched him. Why did I always seem to let my own worries and inhibitions get in the way of something good?

“Thank you.”

I reached out to him, my hand tentative on his shoulder. I didn’t wait for an answer, there didn’t need to be one, instead I pushed the car door open and stepped out. The air seemed to be fresher here, I drank deeply and climbed the railing.

Railings existed for a reason but I wanted to see the view the cliff edge would give me, I needed to see it. Everything in my life was in chaos and I didn’t stand a chance of dragging it back for myself. But this was a choice I could make, a step closer to something dangerous without the consequences.

“Carrie, be careful!”

Stuart’s voice seemed very far away as I stood on the cliff ledge and allowed the wind to whip around me. I closed my eyes and spread my arms out away from my body. I could practically imagine what it would feel like to take flight, to let go of the problems in my life and just soar.

David.

The thought of him hit me like a punch to the gut. I loved him and here I was imagining simply flying away. What kind of a person was I? I had everything I had ever wanted and yet as I stood on the cliff ledge I knew I had never been more trapped in my life. Everything about my life was about pleasing someone else.

When would David and I do something just for us? Watching him struggle with the situation over his father was like watching him drown and being unable to save him. It was beyond painful knowing that I couldn’t help him.

A small sob escaped me and I clamped my hands over my mouth. I didn’t want to let the pain out, it was almost as though I didn’t deserve to let it out. David was carrying his own emotions bottled up inside, he wasn’t letting them go. What right did I have to some relief?

“Carrie?”

Stuart’s voice was soft, the hand he placed on my shoulder was comforting. I shrugged out of his grip and let my eyes slowly open before turning on my heel and moving back towards the car.

He grabbed my arms and held me tightly, his grip almost painful but I didn’t show any discomfort. Instead I stared up into his face, my gaze blank, void of any emotion.

“I want to go home.”

My voice was whipped away on the wind, I could practically see the words as they were carried up into the air. Stuart still held me, his fingers digging into the flesh of my arms as he stared into my eyes. I knew he was searching for something, anything he could latch onto. But there was nothing there for him, there had never been anything there for Stuart. Everything I felt, I felt for David. There was simply no room within me for anyone but David.

Stuart drew my body closer to his, close enough that I could feel his breath as it fanned across my face. 

“Stop lying to yourself, I know you feel it.”

I shook my head, I didn’t feel for him what I felt for David. I loved David, anything beyond that didn’t matter.

“Carrie.”

His voice had dropped low and I could feel it curl around me. If I let it, I knew his voice could warm me, it could tighten things low in my body and make my breath come in small needy gasps. But I didn’t want it and I was in control of my body, my desires.

“Soon.”

Was all he said to me as he released me and strode back towards the car. I let him go, slowly exhaling a long breath as I watched him climb back into the car and gun the engine. I gave myself another few seconds, calming my heart rate back to normal.

Stuart could be as big a complication and pain in the ass as he wanted but I wouldn’t let him under my skin. The sooner he realised that I belonged with David the easier everything would become.

Pushing my hands back through my tangled blonde hair I made my way back to the car and slid once more into the passenger seat. Fastening my seatbelt as Stuart turned the car back towards the city and home. Life was a giant mess and I needed to fix it before everything spiralled completely out of my control. I needed to fix it before David decided that I wasn’t worth the heartache.

I'll Still Love You Tomorrow - Snippet

I'm not sure why but today I seem to be in a slightly melancholic mood. I indulged myself and wrote a scene from a novel that has been torturing me for a while. The novel is currently titled, "I'll Still Love You Tomorrow". This is all I have of it down on paper, the rest keeps on circling my mind, every so often popping up to torture me with scenes and the character of Rachel. Her sense of loss is so strong in my mind that I can practically taste it.

Anyway, thought I'd post it here to see what you thought of it.

I'll Still Love You Tomorrow

The world is a very dark place when you find yourself alone. It wasn’t something I had truly believed would happen to me. I’d never really believed that he would leave me, that I would be forced to face an uncertain future without him by my side holding my hand. 

The moment you realise you’re alone, that moment when it really hits you is like being buried alive. I’d watched the light leave his eyes, watched the air rattle out of his lungs for the last time, watched his chest sink down, his body growing still. And even then, after watching all of that, I still hadn’t believed that he would leave me. I know it sounds stupid but it was how I felt after he was gone.

I held Tom’s hand in mine and watched him die. Although the cancer had completely ravaged his body, shrinking him down in the bed until there was practically nothing left he was still the first man I’d ever fallen in love with. A part of me still expected him to open his eyes grip my hand in his and sit up, and although these were all things he hadn’t done in months, I still believed him capable of it.

From the first moment he had been diagnosed with the cancer we had fought it together, neither one of us giving up or letting go of the other. We had doctors and nurses, specialists and therapists telling us on a regular basis that there was no hope, there was no cure. And still we struggled on, battling through every chemo treatment that made him sick to his stomach. Each bout of radiation weakened him further, weakened his body but never his spirit. He didn’t want to leave me. It was a promise we made to one another but death doesn’t care about childish promises you make in the dead of night. Death is simply there, waiting for the moment when your body can’t cope with living anymore. And when that moment comes, then you’re gone.

Tom was gone.

Every time the thought hit me, it stole the very air from my lungs. How was I supposed to carry on? I’d fought for so long to keep him that I had no idea what I was supposed to do with myself now.

The wreckage of our shared life together surrounded me in our little house. How could I live here when everywhere I looked there were memories of him, memories of all our happy times spent together. Memories that were now broken by his absence. The memories weren’t the only thing broken by the loss of him. I was broken.

I lay on the bed, my body too exhausted to even climb beneath the covers. It had been like this since the funeral. It hurt to move, it hurt to breathe, it hurt to open my eyes, it hurt to think, it hurt to live. I was a living breathing raw nerve ending. There wasn’t a moment that passed me by that I didn’t pray for oblivion. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to live anymore. Without him, what was the point?

Box Set Madness!

For anyone who loves to see a passionate, big, beautiful woman find her happily ever after and the smoulderingly sexy men who simply can't take their hands off them, this box set is for you.

99c For A Limited Time Only  Three passionate BBWs find their happily ever afters in this action packed box set.  A Primal Lust A Fierce Love  Jessica has always wanted to be a dancer but her body has other ideas. She is curvy and voluptuous and just not cut out to be anything special. Or so she thinks. Locking up the dance studio after training late Jessica is attacked. What comes to her rescue is nothing she could ever have imagined. Nicholas is tall, sexy and handsome, the perfect Alpha Male. Jessica cannot believe that a man like Nicholas would ever be interested in someone like her. But he is. Nicholas has a beast within him that calls to Jessica. A beast that wants to claim her body, heart, and soul for itself. Her perfect mate, or so it appears. But Nicholas is not the only one who wishes to own Jessica. A rival pride and their ruthless Rex has his sights firmly set on her too. Jessica can't help herself and against her better judgement falls for Nick's sexy charms. But that puts her in even greater danger. When the rival Rex discovers that she is Nick's mate he no longer wants her for himself... Now it has become a deadly game of cat and mouse. But dominant were-lions are not Jessica's only problem. Something else wants the blood that runs in her veins.  Will Jessica learn to trust Nick and accept his true feelings for her? Or will her insecurities get in the way and cost her not just the love of her life but everything she holds dear?  In a fight for her heart and her life, can Jessica emerge unscathed physically and emotionally? Or will it prove to be too fierce a love?  Passionate Curves  Erica Merrill is an insecure, overweight college student. Still a virgin she longs to meet the man of her dreams. Enter the dreamy Jared Sinclair. Mysterious and muscular, Jared is everything Erica ever dared hope for in a man. However she is convinced that he could not possibly be interested in her plump body.  When Erica is persuaded to pose for Rick's art exhibition photo shoot she doesn't realise what she has gotten into until it is too late. Rick likes to believe that he always gets what he wants. And he has his sights set on Erica. The only problem, Rick is not prepared to take no for an answer and will do whatever it takes to have her.  Erica's only hope is the handsome Jared. Falling for him leaves her vulnerable and Erica soon realises that it's not just her life at stake anymore, but her heart too.  Can Erica overcome her insecurities and allow Jared to show her just how beautiful she really is? Or will the machinations of a madman do more than just force them apart?  Smouldering Desire  A bad break up and non-existent self-esteem sends Vickie Michaels running for the hills. Leaving the city she flees to the small town of Forever Falls, where she used to visit as a child. When there she discovers things are not as simple as they used to be. Especially where the local fireman Matt Jackson is concerned. Desirable, smart, and very hot, Matt is everything Vickie is convinced that she doesn't deserve.  However, she isn't the only one with baggage and Vickie soon learns that Matt has entanglements of his own. Dark secrets, and a burden of guilt that has sent him into hiding. But a daring rescue brings them closer.  There are forces at work determined to tear them apart. Matt's troubled history is not the only thing that wants to see the lovers destroyed.  Can Vickie overcome her personal demons in time to face some very real threats? Or will her past catch up to her and destroy the blossoming relationship developing between her and Matt?

Happy reading,

Millie xxx

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Adored by the Billionaire 1 - Desired by the Billionaire 5 is live

Will and Paige are back, in the new explosive sequel!

Adored by the Billionaire 1

Desired by the Billionaire 5

After overcoming the nightmare that Christopher created, Paige and Will's life together should be calming down. However, being hounded by the press night and day isn't conducive to a normal life. Dating one of the world's most eligible bachelors has its drawbacks or so Paige is just beginning to realise. But none of that should matter if she has Will to fall back on. 

Will has changed, grown cold and distant and Paige is convinced it's because he has fallen out of love with her. With rumours of affairs and terrible lies, can Paige really trust Will, the man she loves or is it all about to come crashing down?

Amazon

Amazon UK

Saturday Snippet and the future of Desired by the Billionaire

Some of you may have already heard my plans for continuing Desired By the Billionaire. In case you haven't, on October 11th I'll be releasing Adored by the Billionaire 1 - Desired by the Billionaire 5. In total I'm looking at four or five parts and it will be complete before Christmas with every part coming every 3-4 weeks.

Saturday Snippet - Adored by the Billionaire 1 - Desired by the Billionaire 5.

The office hummed softly in the background as Paige stared at the computer screen. It amazed her how quickly life returned to normal. Well as normal as life can be if you happened to be in a relationship with one of the most eligible bachelors in the country. Evading news reporters had become almost like a job in itself.

Of course all of that paled in comparison to the media frenzy that would erupt if they couldn’t get the company back on its feet. Christopher had done a very thorough job, even in death he still seemed to have a stranglehold on the company. And that wasn’t the only thing he still seemed to be messing with.

Will was different, withdrawn, distant. It didn’t seem to matter what Paige did, nothing cracked the cold shell he had created around himself. She had honestly hoped that now that everything was behind them that he would return to her, become the man she had known he was.

Part of her wondered if he still wanted her? Now that the threat was gone, now that she was no longer some sort of loose end, did Will see her as more of a nuisance? Just another chattel wrapped noose like around his neck.

Burying her face in her hands she pressed her fingers in hard against her eyes hoping to physically push the tears away. In the dead of night Paige had found herself crying and that wasn’t who she was. She was strong, determined, no one, no man had ever gotten to her in the same way that Will had. He was under her skin, buried so deep within her that he was wrapped around her heart. How was she supposed to deal with whatever was going on, when she couldn’t even control her own feelings for him.

“Have you seen this latest one?”

Marissa burst into the office waving a newspaper around in front of Paige’s face. The petite brunette was practically hopping from one foot to the other when Paige lifted her gaze. She plastered a smile across her face. The last thing she needed was the office spreading rumours. That was how the one about her supposed pregnancy spread to the media. The fallout from it hadn’t been easy to clean up and for a moment Paige could have sworn that she saw a flicker of something more in Will’s eyes when he’d heard the news.

“What are they saying now?”

“There’s a countdown started wondering when he’ll pop the question.”

“What?”

Impatience flared within Paige filling her voice with an acidity that didn’t belong there.

“Show it to me.”

Marissa handed it over without another word, her obvious enthusiasm crushed. Part of Paige felt bad, none of this was Marissa’s fault. None of it was even her fault if she was honest about it, this was something that only Will could answer for.

Paige scanned the article, her heart sinking further and further within her chest. She felt like someone had tied a lead weight around her heart. Why did they have to keep tormenting her like this? What made her relationship with Will so god damned interesting that at every turn the media had to print stories about it?

Forget Me Not - Chapter One - Aidan

Forget Me Not - Chapter One

Aidan

The sound of gunshots and shouting filled the sprawling mansion. My feet continued their race, lungs aching for air, heart hammering in my chest. It was beginning to feel like my heart would erupt from my chest and fall still beating to the carpeted floor.

She was here somewhere, she had to be here. Paige had said she had seen her, spoken to her… She was alive, after all this time she was still alive. My brain could barely believe it but my heart, well that had decided a long time ago that Bella would be fine. She had to be. Because if she wasn’t then everything had been for nothing. Everything I’d done over the years would mean absolutely nothing.

Pushing open the double doors, a stretch of corridor lay in front of me. I knew from the layout plans of the house that Christopher’s office sat at the end. I could see the door ahead of me. Fear skittered up my spine. I wasn’t afraid of him. If I saw him and had my opportunity then I would shoot him dead. And I wouldn’t just stop there.

Since he had taken Bella, I consoled myself most nights with thoughts of what I would do to Christopher St James once I got my hands on him. Most thoughts revolved around intricate acts of torture, I didn’t want him to go easy. And then there was the other nights, when I dreamt of how I would save her. He was always there of course… And every time without fail I saved her. In my dreams I didn’t let him lay a finger on her, I always protected her… But what were dreams when the reality was so terrible. I’d failed her. I’d put my stupid job before her. I’d put something meaningless before the woman I loved and I’d lost her because of it.

My pace had slowed. I was desperate to find her, I’d practically torn the house apart looking for her… And now, here I was creeping forward, like a child afraid of what lay in the dark. A coward.

Pausing in front of the dark wooden door I let my hand rest on the handle. Would she still want me? How could she? I’d let her down, I’d let the monster take her, use her, I wasn’t a saviour, I was just as bad as him.

The air whooshed out of my lungs in one long breath as I pushed the door open and stepped into the room. Silence, eerie silence filled the room. If she was here then I had expected there to be some sign… A small noise… A breath… But there was nothing.

My eyes fell upon a shape in the corner and for a second my brain didn’t want to acknowledge what I was looking at. It didn’t seem to make sense, it couldn’t possibly be human?

But something in the back of my mind nagged at me. I’d worked some of Christopher’s cases, I knew what he was capable of. And this had his name written all over it. But I didn’t want to take another step. I didn’t want to walk any further into the room and for my eyes to suddenly make sense of what I was looking at.

Deep down I already knew the answer, but I didn’t have to believe it. I could ignore what my mind was trying to tell me. Couldn’t I?

It wasn’t her. It couldn’t be her. Bella’s hair was blonde. Whoever this was, her hair was dark, black… My Bella had blonde hair. It seemed like such a stupid thing to cling onto but I couldn’t help it. I had to hold onto something. This wasn’t her. I hadn’t let this happen to her.

Her feet and hands were restrained, pinned by the straps that lay across the wooden horse. Her back a criss cross of angry red welts and purple bruises. Blood had trickled down her face, from an open wound that ran from her hairline down the side of her temple. It had dried into a thick mass, clumping her hair and obscuring part of her face from my view.

Christopher was a monster, there was no question about that. How he could do this to another human being? It baffled me. Part of me had already decided that this wasn’t Bella. The part of me that favoured denial. She was obviously somewhere else.

I crouched down and brushed the hair away from the girls face. My stomach rebelled and I just had enough time to fall away from her before I vomited. I hadn’t cried since he had taken her. Until now, I sobbed as my stomach retched.

“Bella, sweetheart? Can you hear me?”

Scrambling on my knees I touched her softly, it was enough to make her whimper a sound that ripped through me, tearing my heart from my chest. My fingers shook as I unbuckled the straps that held her legs in place. The bruises that covered her body blurring together into one giant wound. I unstrapped her hands and she slid from the horse into my arms. Limp, lifeless. Tears slid from her eyes and it was the only thing I had. The only sign that she was still in there.

It broke my heart to see her like this. He had obviously tried to destroy her. She had risked herself for Paige.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid.” I murmured against her hair as I cradled her in my arms, my lips pressed to her forehead. “I was coming for you. If you had waited just a little longer. Bella, sweet, love, I was coming for you, why couldn’t you have waited?”

She gurgled and jerked in my grip, her entire body seemed to convulse and then there was nothing. Silence. I’d felt her breathing, held her body and felt a heart beat and now there was nothing.

“No, no, no, no, no. Not now, don’t you dare, not now! Not now I’ve found you. I found you, Bella, I’m here.”

My voice grew louder, more and more desperate as I pleaded with her to stay with me. I had found her, I was right here with her and she needed to stay with me. She had to let me save her. I laid her on the floor carefully and pressed my ear to her chest. There was still nothing, no sound, no breath. I wanted it to be like one of those stupid romantic films she used to love to watch. The moment where everything seems lost and then as if by magic, it’s all turned around and they get to live happily ever after.

Tilting her head back I sealed my lips around her mouth. The coppery taste of her blood filled my mouth as I pushed air into her lungs. I needed her to breathe, I needed to keep her alive, at least until someone came to help us…

Clamping my hands together I started chest compressions. But she was so small, so fragile, and I was such a brute, a monster, that the moment I started I heard the tell tale crack of bone as her ribs broke.

“Bella, sweet, breathe, come on for me, it’s Aidan… Please don’t leave me, not when I’ve found you… Not now I’ve finally found you…”

But this wasn’t the movies… She didn’t splutter suddenly and look up at me, love filling her eyes as she realised it was me. There was just nothing but the sound of my ragged breaths as I tried to bring her back. She was mine… I wasn’t going to let her die on me.

The sound of running footsteps in the hall had me hollering for help. My arms were beginning to tire but I couldn’t stop not now. Not when there was a chance.

“In here, we need help in here!”

I had a second to glance over my shoulder and watch as two paramedics came through the door. One of them immediately jumped on his radio, calling out commands and instructions as the other kneeled on the floor next to Bella.

“She just stopped breathing. I took her down from that… thing…” The words caught in my throat as I caught sight of the wooden horse again. “She seemed to convulse and then stopped breathing.”

“Right, sir, if you let us take over, assess the situation?”

“I think I broke her ribs.” I blurted the words out, if they were going to save her then they needed to know everything.

“Don’t worry about it, that’s perfectly normal.”

The medic who had given orders on the radio crouched down next to me and began pulling instruments from his case. I watched on as they started to work on, as they tried to bring her back from wherever it was that she had tried to go… 

The air seemed heavy, almost unbreathable as I watched them. I needed to tell her that I still loved her, that I couldn’t live without her. I didn’t have a life without her in it. Standing I glanced around the room and anger swelled within me. How long had she been here, strapped to that thing as her body slowly gave up? What sort of a monster was Christopher that he had beaten her practically to death?

More people crowded into the room and suddenly they were hoisting her onto a stretcher. I tried to get closer, to hold her hand, to just be with her but strong arms held me back. I fought against them, fought them with everything I was worth.

“Let me go! I have to be with her, she has to know that I found her. I want to be there when she wakes up!”

“Sir, calm down. They’re doing everything they can but you need to let them work…”

I broke free of his grip and followed them down the hall of the mansion.

“We’ve got a pulse.”

Such simple words… And yet it was enough to drive me to my knees. She hadn’t left me… I wasn’t alone. She had a pulse. I buried my face in my hands and I cried, I cried like a small child and I didn’t care who saw me. All I needed was the tiny glimmer of hope that one day I might be able to make it up to her… That one day she might forgive me… That she might still love me, even after everything. Hope. It was enough to bring a man to his knees.

Image of Us - Book 3 of the Bad Boy Rockers Do It Better Series

Matt is accused of putting Jacob Craigsdale in hospital and Kat doesn't know who she can trust. Although she loves Matt, she fears vigilante justice.

She tries to focus on helping Emma. But as she tries to solve her problems with Matt, Kat discovers that she is the unknowing victim of someone who will stop at nothing to destroy her.

She must face her demons to keep the man of her dreams and risk falling prey to the one who wants to make her disappear... permanently.

Amazon US

Amazon UK

B&N

An issue of violence

I've debated writing this post for a while now. Constantly changing my mind over it, should I write it? Should I post it? And I've decided to bite the bullet and just do it.

The reason I'm in two minds about this post is because it deals with the difficult topic of violence against women. And that's not what my blog is about. I know I can't always write about love and romance, it'd get boring pretty quickly, and life is not all fluffy kittens, rainbows and roses, as much as we might want it to be. But at the same time I'm not sure if it's my place to discuss this kind of thing.

Allow me to give you some background information as to why this topic bothers me so much. A long time ago I was stupid enough to be involved with someone who wasn't good for me. I don't want to go into the details, that's not what this is about, but that experience has helped shape my view on something so important.

Recently, I was shocked and more than a little upset by something I witnessed on television. I watch Big Brother here in the UK. (Yes, I admit it.) And normally it's daft and fun to watch. People seeking their fifteen minutes of fame, and the lengths they're willing to go in order to achieve it. Normally it's just a little bit of entertaining fluff. This year, not so much.

I am referring to a very specific incident that occurred. During a play fight gone bad, one of the male housemates wrapped his hand around the throat of a female housemate. He then proceeded to pin her to the bed, using threatening language, telling her to, "respect her elders", or he'd finish her, "respect your elders or I'll nut you."

It's very easy to find out who these two housemates are, it's even possible to view the incident, I think. I know I saw it that night on the edited and aired version of the show. I've left names out because for what I'm talking about it's not important. Now, I've sat on this for a while. I've spent a lot of time thinking about it. And it still bothers me now. What I witnessed that night was beyond upsetting. And what I've seen since has upset me further.

I don't condone violence towards women. Ever. Neither do I condone it towards men. It's something I find despicable. Violence is never the answer. But what I've found to be worse is the attitude of some of the public towards the situation. Claiming that if the female housemate hadn't been flirting with him, then it wouldn't have escalated to the point of violence. To me what happened wasn't a "threat" of violence as it has sometimes been described, he laid hands on her, to me, that is violence.

I know not everyone will agree with me. But I don't understand the mentality that has developed in today's society. Something like this happens and we spend our time blaming the woman, or looking for ways to make it her fault. Its happened during rape cases where they try to make the victim look guilty. The clothes she wore, how much she drank, or the fact that she flirted. None of those things should ever come into it. It's never an excuse. We shouldn't have the mentality that "insert action here, e.g. short skirt, flirting, etc" caused the man to insert repercussion here "attack, rape, etc".

Maybe I'm terribly naive. I don't know. All I'm saying and thinking in my head is where have we gone so wrong that we immediately blame the woman? When did it become acceptable to condone violence? I don't have the answers. All I can hope is that maybe people start to look at the way they react to these types of situations. That we realise it is never the victims fault, violence in all its forms is never, ever the answer.

I came across this video a little while ago and it reduced me to tears. I wanted to share it with you all, his words are touching and come from the heart. You couldn't ask for more than that.

Be safe.

Love,

Millie

My thoughts on Love and Romance and a blog hop!

Love and Romance.

Writing lots of romance has caused me to spend a lot of time thinking about love and romance. What it means to each of my characters. How it changes from book to book, and all the different reactions that can be had?

So it’s brought me to this point. I want to talk to you about what I feel love and romance is. What it means to me. I know it means something different to everyone. Some see love and romance as romantic dinners, gifts, sex. And yeah, they can be the icing on the cake.

But for me, love and romance is something a little different. It’s the acceptance by my partner of who I am. That he loves me, still wants to hold me even after I’ve ranted and raved about something pointless, for an hour.

Love and romance for me is knowing that he sees me as his equal in everything. That in everything he does, chooses, decides, that my feelings and personality are taken into consideration.

The knowing that he would rather hurt, than for something to hurt me. The knowing that if he could take my burdens in life and carry them himself that he would.

It’s the little things. He listens to the music that I like, even if sometimes it includes a sappy Taylor Swift song on repeat. He listens to me. Through the wacky, and the weird, to the down right bonkers ideas and schemes, he listens… And more importantly he hears me…

When I’m feeling insecure, unattractive, or stupid, he doesn’t dismiss my thoughts. He doesn’t tell me I’m being silly, or over the top. He shows me all the ways he loves me, shows me that I’m not stupid or any other negative I can think to throw at myself in that moment. He lets me see how special I am through his eyes.

For me love and romance is the moment he takes my hand. The moment his fingers close around mine and his eyes can’t seem to leave my face. It’s that split second before his lips meet mine, when his breath tickles across my cheeks and my eyes drift closed.

It’s when I wake up in the morning and he smiles at me, looks at me like I’m the most beautiful creature he has ever seen.

All these things spell love and romance for me and they tell me something very important too… They tell me I’m so lucky to have found a man that can give me all of these things and so much more. He is everything I ever wanted, and everything I never knew I wanted until I met him.

I think Sam from Sacrifice said it best with, “There is no life without love. No life without her.” And to that I say, “There is no life without love. No life without him.”

To the man of my dreams, thank you for being real.

So to help spread the love, I’m giving away two signed copies of my newest book Sacrifice. To enter, all you need to do is comment with an answer to my question and your email so I can contact you if you win. And it's international!

What does love and romance mean to you?

To whet your appetite, here is the blurb and cover for Sacrifice.

************ 99c for a limited time only! **************

"The moment Sam looked at me, I knew he saw me. The real me, not the one I pretended to be. He saw beyond my pretense to the girl beneath. The girl who cried herself to sleep at night. The girl who pushed people away, when all she really wanted was for someone to look her in the eye and tell her everything would be alright. That life wasn't always pain. That living wasn't always this difficult. That the ones you loved didn't always leave you behind. In that moment, Sam saw me, and I saw him. And I knew without a doubt that I would love him and he would betray me."

Natasha Masterton, a young college student on the verge of graduation, has the world at her feet. But all is not at it seems. Her mother is dead and she hasn't seen her father in over three years. The only dealing she has with him is when he deposits her allowance into a bank account every month. Her father's lack of interest has hardened Natasha to the rest of the world, leaving her cold and more than a little broken.

When Sam Harker crashes into Natasha's life, asking questions about her father and dragging up the past, Natasha's interest in piqued. The more time she spends with him, the more she falls for his easy charm and quick smile.

But Sam has secrets of his own - secrets that threaten their blossoming relationship. And when the real reason for Natasha's fathers disinterest becomes apparent, a sacrifice must be made. 

Love, honor and duty collide... risking more than just a broken heart. Sometimes love is worth the ultimate price.

Recommended for 17+ due to mature themes and scenes of an adult nature.

Amazon

When the hop ends I will randomly pick two winners from the commenters here. Not only that, but as this is the insatiable reads hop, you have the chance to win other fabulous prizes, by following the link to the other blogs participating.

For the blog hop the first place grand prize is a Kindle Fire. And second place is a $50 gift card! So get entering!

The blog hop is now closed and the winners have been chosen. Thanks to everyone who took part!

For my own giveaway of two signed paperbacks, the winners are: Cassandra dixiedukegurl2 AT yahoo DOT com

And: Cara Lumanesce lumanesce AT gmail DOT com

Congratulations! The emails have been sent.

Sacrifice - A New Adult Novel - And a Book Tour

Happy 4th of July!

Sacrifice finally made it out into the big bad world. It was touch and go for a while, but all good things come to those who wait :)

Sam and Natasha are just the sweetest thing and I really hope you'll love reading about them as much as I loved writing about them. There is no cliffhanger at the end but it does have the potential for another book in the series, but that depends on you. Would you like to see more of these characters? Perhaps find out how Rachel and Adam are getting along? Well I want you to tell me.

************ 99c for a limited time only! **************

"The moment Sam looked at me, I knew he saw me. The real me, not the one I pretended to be. He saw beyond my pretense to the girl beneath. The girl who cried herself to sleep at night. The girl who pushed people away, when all she really wanted was for someone to look her in the eye and tell her everything would be alright. That life wasn't always pain. That living wasn't always this difficult. That the ones you loved didn't always leave you behind. In that moment, Sam saw me, and I saw him. And I knew without a doubt that I would love him and he would betray me."

Natasha Masterton, a young college student on the verge of graduation, has the world at her feet. But all is not at it seems. Her mother is dead and she hasn't seen her father in over three years. The only dealing she has with him is when he deposits her allowance into a bank account every month. Her father's lack of interest has hardened Natasha to the rest of the world, leaving her cold and more than a little broken.

When Sam Harker crashes into Natasha's life, asking questions about her father and dragging up the past, Natasha's interest in piqued. The more time she spends with him, the more she falls for his easy charm and quick smile.

But Sam has secrets of his own - secrets that threaten their blossoming relationship. And when the real reason for Natasha's fathers disinterest becomes apparent, a sacrifice must be made. 

Love, honor and duty collide... risking more than just a broken heart. Sometimes love is worth the ultimate price.

Recommended for 17+ due to mature themes and scenes of an adult nature.

Amazon US
Amazon UK
Barnes and Noble

Not only that but Sacrifice is part of a huge tour. The Insatiable Reads Tour 24 authors have taken part and it's filled with amazing prizes and fabulous blogs. Whenever I have a guest post I'll let you all know here so you too have a chance to enter for some amazing prizes.

Also later in the month I will be hosting a giveaway of my own. I've said, if Sacrifice hits ten reviews on Amazon US by the 10th of July I will giveaway a $50 amazon gift card. If it hits 20 or more, I will double the prize and give a $100 dollar gift card plus I'll add two more prizes of two $50 giftcards for two other lucky winners. So get your reviews in and help make it easy for me to giveaway all these prizes!

Happy 4th of July everyone!

Millie